Gay Cumbria - Support
Here we have provided some support information and articles, we hope you find them useful. Please note that all experiences differ and each situation should be tackled on its own merit, our support articles are for guidance only.
Please follow the links below.
Coming Out | Cottaging/Cruising | Domestic Abuse | Drink Spiking/Date Rape
Homophobia | FFLAG - (Family & Friends of Lesbians & Gays) | In the Closet
Relationship Break Up | Personal Safety Tips
Coming Out
Coming out is probably one of the most challenging aspects that you might experience as a gay or bisexual person. Here are some guidelines that you might want to read before you go ahead.
Why come out at all?
Well no argument here really. There isn’t anything wrong with staying in the closet as such, however, you might just be getting a little sick of aunt Aggie constantly nagging you to get married or to find a nice young boy/girlfriend. You might be feeling a bit cornered by all those probing questions as to why your still hanging around in single sex circles, families are good at this. Finally, loneliness. Being in the closet is very isolating and repressive, if this is what you like then that’s fine, but if you’re an outgoing kinda person, then its nothing less than tedious.
Before you come out. Ask yourself, are you really ready for it? Don’t be pressured into it by other people, its your choice and only you know how to tell your friends and family. Gain as much information as possible off other gay friends, they are a wealth of information. After all, they’ve been there, done that, bought the video and rented it out! I’m sure if you were to ask you would hear at least one person say “.......... if I’d done it differently, I’d have done X, Y & Z”. Make sure you have a safe place to retreat to, then if the “metaphorical does hit the fan” you will have somewhere and someone to run to. Try coming out to a few close and trusted friends first, not the ones who are immediately going to go and blab to all behind your back. You want the friends that are going to stand by you whatever, and those who are going to give you constructive advice on how well you did.
The family
O.K. so now were getting to the serious part. You need to think, think and better think. What is the best way to go about it? Well there are no rules here, only you know the answers because only you know your family the best, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Take your time and be prepared for the worst. Then if the worst happens your fore armed. However if things go better than planned your at a bonus and like a dog with two tales at your new found freedom!
Final words?
What works for others might not work for you. Don’t come out in anger, its not a good idea, unless you intentionally want to alienate yourself even further. You might just be surprised by your families reaction, than they were to you coming out. Many a parent has turned round and said, “well I knew all along, what took you so long to tell me?” Good luck, you’ve always got mates on gaycumbria.coms’ forums who care about you.
